It's so weird looking back to my older self. I used to be so active here 2-3 years ago. I used to be a lot more happier, yet I do not miss these times. This was not my real self at all. My beliefs then are very different from my beliefs now. I wish my older self could see and understand me now, so "she" could see that she was wrong in a lot of ways.
This "Canon", used to believe her love for dead or 70 year old rockstars would last forever and ever. "She" spent all day daydreaming about the 60s and 70s. Wishing to go back to that time. Being detached from the cruel reality. The beliefs "she" had were childish and immature, not to say completely inhuman.
The 60s and the 70s weren't an amazing era. Well, they might have been for the privileged, white people. But for people of colour, disabled people, queer people, transgender people etc. The minority was happy. I am so ashamed of myself for thinking it was such a great time.
And seriously, that obsession, the so called "love" for old rockstars who I'd never meet and where 70 years old or dead was just funny. Don't get me wrong, I still love the music, but man, what the hell was that obsession all about.
2014 was a year of self discovery for me. I found out that my assigned sex did not match my gender. I am actually non-binary agender, meaning I do not have a gender. "She" is not "she" anymore. I am Kenji. My pronouns are they/them/their. People in real life do not accept me, only 1 friend. But online, I am surrounded by caring and loving friends, especially a certain boy that I adore and am very fond of.
I love anime, manga, mecha robots, coffee, naps, soft beds, attention, affection, ghouls, reading, writing and fighting for equality.
I am no longer an heterosexual female. I am a pansexual/romanic transgender individual. I don't like looking back to my older self because she's not me. I am more me now than I ever was.
Thank you for reading this and please comment if you want to. I'd love to catch up with some of my old friends here. If you have any questions I'll gladly answer them.